«Back to November News Bulletin

According to Denise Bothe, MD, a behavioral developmental pediatrics and psychology specialist at University Hospitals Rainbow Babies Children’s Hospital, separation anxiety is normal for a few years.

Children sometimes have trouble with changes linked to growing up. Common in infants and toddlers, separation anxiety usually decreases by age 2, when children naturally start to explore their independent side. However, it’s perfectly normal for children to continue seeking to be near their parents. This is the idea of attachment of a child to his or her parent. Some children have a “slow to warm up” temperament or personality and may have separation anxiety for longer. Starting school is a big step for children, and not wanting to separate from their parents at that time is common.

Between ages 5 and 7, episodes can involve not wanting to go to school. Children also may display separation anxiety if there have been stressful circumstances in their lives, such as changes in their routines. A move to a new neighborhood, an illness, a death in the family or the end of an extended stay at home for the summer or a holiday can lead to an occurrence.

Older children with an extreme, persistent fear of leaving their parents, accompanied by depression, sadness, withdrawal or fear that they or a family member might die, may have a more serious condition. Known as separation anxiety disorder, it requires help from a mental health professional. If your child has ordinary separation anxiety, don’t worry. Usually, with time, a child will get more comfortable with new situations.

If you are not sure whether your child’s separation anxiety is within the normal range, ask your pediatrician or family doctor for advice. They also may offer to refer you to a specialist. Here are some tips from the American Academy of Pediatrics about how to cope with separation anxiety at school:

• Let the school staff know your child has occasional separation anxiety.
• Acknowledge your youngster’s anxiety. Talk with him about it. Be sympathetic, reassuring and supportive.
• Don’t make fun of your child’s fears, especially in front of his peers.
• Reassure your child that you’ll see him at the end of the day.
• Take a few minutes to play with your child in the new environment. But don’t linger when bidding him good-bye.

The best way to help your child feel secure in any situation is to offer him or her comfort and reassurance whenever possible.